Every time
by LiLwhitegurl89
Summary: Updated-7-10-04 When Lizzie is raped who will she trun to? LG! I rated it "r" to be safe of the rating, it should be PG but it got removed bc of that so..Plz Read
1. Default Chapter

A/N-Ok this story had been posted here before as a one-shot called "I love you", but Fanfiction removed it because of the rating. So just to be safe-I'm going to put high rating on it but I don't think the story is meant for it. I changed the title to "Everytime" and it'll have a song in it called "Everytime" by Brittney Spears, I know I know, but I was just listening to the song and thought it made the perfect fit for my one shot story. Oh and this story might be different from the other one I posted but only because I deleted it off my computer AFTER I posted it on F.F. But the story still has the same setting and Idea.   
  
Does anybody know how to put BOLD or ITALIC in their documents b/c everytime I do it, it never comes up on the chapters, and I don't know how to fix it. And those 2 lines(the ones that resemble this::====), I'd really be flattered if somebody would please tell me how to do those! PLz&thx!  
  
Summary- When Lizzie is a rape-victim, who will she turn too? L/G  
  
Disclaimer- Disney owns Lizzie McGuire and Company. I don't own "Everytime" or Brittney Spears and don't want to either.

* * *

..::Everytime::..  
  
It was cold and dark, but I didn't care. I was still going to remain in my closet, crying and crying. I had no reason what so ever to get out. Everybody thought "Oh she's married, she has it all" Well everybody thought wrong. That's what he wanted everybody to think. But once it was just me and him, behind closed doors, everything changed. I had married him when I was 18, him being 20. Boy, how stupid could I have been! I was young and shallow, why didn't anybody tell me 'Looks are only skin deep' We had started dating when I was 16. I met him at my job, and we hung out. Everybody told me that 'Sure you're happy now But later on..watchout!' I didn't think anything of it then, but they were right. My dad and brother didn't like the guy. I never understood why until now. As for my mom, she just wanted me to be happy.  
  
His charm had only worked on me, like some spell. The first month into our marrage was fabulous. He had me fooled and everything. He must've thought he was some big thing. He treated me like I was a princess, and him being my prince. But after, about that first month, everything started falling down, crashing on my world. I had my head so far up in space to really notice that much. But when I did, my head almost fell all the way to the bottom of the Earth's surface.

* * *

Notice me,  
  
Take my hand,  
  
So why are we  
  
Strangers when  
  
Our love is strong  
  
Why carry on without me?

* * *

He'd be gone all day suppossably at work. But for some reason, I had suspected otherwise. I thought maybe he was out 'getting some' only because I had told him no everytime he asked. I wasn't ready yet. And I was nervous, what if I had a child with him. I didn't want a child with him, because I didn't want my child knowing it's father. And he'd only come home late at night. 12am late. He wouldn't call during the day, and when I tried to call him, nobody would answer. It was like I didn't matter anymore to him. I think he would fancy a dog more than me. When we were dating though-he'd always call me. Always wanting to be alone with me. He even tried getting me to dump my two best friends in the world! I wasn't that naive. I told him that if he truely loved me, then he would love my friends.  
  
Anyway, he'd come home, waking me up and demanding I cook him something. Sometimes I would spend hours in the kitchen cooking for him, because I would somehow end up fixing it wrong. 'It has to much salt' 'It isn't done' 'I didn't want this' And if I had simply said 'no', he'd beat me. I'm not talking 'punch to the face' either. Sometimes he'd come home and if I had said the wrong thing, I'd get it. I guess his temper sometimes blew off. Lately that had made itself into a habbit. He would punch me in the face 2 or 3 times, briuse my arms, neck and everything else he could think of.  
  
Now, I bet you're probably wondering 'Why doesn't she get a divorse or why doesn't she tell somebody?'  
  
I wish I could. I believed though, sometimes, maybe, just maybe he would change. I stopped thinking that tonight. I woke up and saw that the man I had dated and the man that I had married, were two completely different people. People that I wanted absolultely, positively nothing to do with, what so ever.  
  
Tonight he had came home obviously upset about something. He asked me to cook him something, and I was so tired from cleaning the whole house, I had asked very sinceire if he could find something to eat. His temper took off flying at 100 mph. He had yelled at me and I had spat out something I regretted. I still remember the words "well why didn't you ask one of those husslers to fix you something to eat". He had looked at me with such evilness. I guess he hadn't gotten any girls tonight, because he was begging me to give it to him. I still said no, how was I going to say yes to him? I would never, ever say yes.  
  
Him hearing the words no, and especially after asking him to fix something to eat for himself, made him really, really angry. He started ripping at my clothes, and when I comprihended(A/N spelling?) what he was doing, I put up a fight. He had realized that I wasn't going to lay it down for him and started beating me. However 3 punches didn't work. I was still fighting, I was weak, but still fighting. He grabbed a cloth from his pocket and shoved it in my mouth, punched and kicked me everywhere.

* * *

And everytime I try to fly  
  
I fall without my wings  
  
I feel so small  
  
I guess I need you baby  
  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
  
I see your face, it's haunting me  
  
I guess I need you baby

* * *

I soon realized there was nothing I could do, screaming was the only thing left, but I could barely breathe thanks to that cloth. After he succeeded at ripping off my clothes, he raped me. After his pleasure died, he told me not to tell anybody and if I did, he'd kill me. Those were his last sayings before he left. I started crying and crawled into my closet, still naked.  
  
I changed my position in the closet, and layed flat on my stomach. I felt so dirty, and used. I wanted my first time to be romantic, and with somebody I was in love with, and loved. And although I had fallin in love with my husband, I was sure now, that I had fallen quite out. I wiped my tear-stained cheeks.  
  
I was ready to leave him. But there was no way I could. I was stuck in my house everyday all day, with no company and only allowed 3 phone calls a month. He had a lock system on the house, that locked me inside. It was like I was grounded or something-only for life. So obviously I couldn't talk to my parents and friends as much as I desired. Nobody knew of how he abused me. When I did talk to my parents, I made them believe my life was perfect, and there really wasn't much to say until tonight.   
  
Miranda and I still emailed eachother, but the emails started drifting from 5 emails a week, to maybe 1. She was so busy with her life, and I was to miserable to even type, that we slowly lost touch.  
  
Gordo...heh..Gordo, Gordo, Gordo. They guy I had known all my life. They guy I had secretly had a crush on all my life. After Rome, yes we had become more than friends. But being the chicken I was broke it off. I told him that I liked him more as a friend. But truely, I was scared. Scared that if we broke up as a couple, than that would end our friendship. Gordo bless his heart understood what I said and told me that if being friends would make me happy, then that's what we would be. We stayed best friends the whole 4 years of high school. When he would get girlfriends, they would only last about 2 weeks at the most. He'd end up braking up with them. I'd be so jealous of them too. However I knew why he would brake up with them, simply because they weren't me.

* * *

I make believe  
  
That you are here   
  
It's the only way  
  
I see clear  
  
What have I done  
  
You seem to move uneasy

* * *

I had the same problem, and I knew it broke his heart to see me with other guys. But when I met my husband, I spent less and less time with Gordo. Gordo had tried telling me numerous times that he wasn't right for me. It would end up causing an argument between us, and saying things we wouldn't say normally. I knew he still loved me. But after I married Josh, he told me that Gordo wasn't a good friend, and that I shouldn't talk to him. I thought he was just being stupid. But then I knew he was being serious after Gordo would call and my husband would hang up on him. Or when I would get mail, he would rip it up and trash it.  
  
I feel so bad now because I realize I still love him. Even though I haven't seem him in a year and haven't heard his sweet voice. I miss him so much.  
  
As another tear fell on my closet floor, I decided to stand up and get out of my closet. I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I saw big black and blue circles around my eyes, blood-shot red eyes, and a pale face. My eyes fell on my neck and saw bruises, and then on my stomach. It felt like knots were rolled up in it and pounding their way through. I looked back up at the mirrow and though 'How could you let this happen to you?'   
  
I heard the phone ring, so I quickly washed my face, grabbed a robe to put on and answered it.  
  
"Hello?" I couldn't really speak, my voice revealed that I had been crying, and my throat felt scratchy.  
  
"I'm not coming home tonight, I'm staying at a friends house, you better not tell anybody what happened tonight or I'll kill you! You better be home to when I come back tomorrow morning or I'll do it again!"

* * *

And everytime I try to fly  
  
I fall without my wings  
  
I feel so small  
  
I guess I need you baby  
  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
  
I see your face, its haunting me  
  
I guess I need you baby

* * *

Then he hung up the phone. I threw the phone down angerily and fell to the floor. I couldn't and wasn't going to be home tomorrow when he'd come home. I wasn't going to let my body be used as a punching bag. No, this isn't going to be how I'm going to live. Nope no more! I gathered enough courage to pick up the phone and punch some numbers. I stood their waiting for somebody to answer.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Mom!" I cried.  
  
"Lizzie how are you? Honey what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Hearing her concerned voice made me cry even more.  
  
I wiped my tears. "I'm fine mom, don't worry. I'll have to tell you later I promise. But I really need Gordo's address, if you have it please mom" I pleaded.  
  
She told me to wait, and after the sound of papers rambling, her voice came back into the receiver and gave me the address. I said thanks, told her I loved her, and hung up. I looked down at the paper I used at scratch paper to jot down his address. 'Glendale...just 30 minutes away' I thought as I glanced at the clock.  
  
I was really doing this! I ran up the stairs and grabbed a handbag. I dug through our shelves and found all the credit cards I could, and money. I stuffed everything I could think of, and a cell phone in that handbag. I took one final look at my wedding ring. Tears started welling in my eyes. It was time I took that off. Maybe if I became homeless I could pawn that and make some money. I looked at the clock again and raced downstairs. I turned the doorknob, and ran all the way to the bus station.  
  
After I arrived in Glendale, somebody had to give me the directions to the street where Gordo lived on. After I thanked them I took off walking. Thoughts started making their way into my mind as I was walking. Thoughts such as 'Why I was even going to Gordos and what I would say if I did, and would he even understand, and what would happen with us if he did understand, could we even have a relationship at this time?' Heck, I didn't even know if the man was married or not!  
  
That thought nearly clunched my stomach. Oh no! What if he was! What was I going to do now! The rain started pouring its way down on me and I was really close to giving up, and just running the other way until I found the house I was looking for. My heart was pounding its way through my chest as I rang the doorbell. I saw a light turn on and heard the doorknob turning. I crossed my fingers and tried to ignore the butterflies flying around in my stomach.

* * *

I may have made it rain  
  
Please forgive me  
  
My weakness caused you pain  
  
And this songs my story

* * *

A man answered the door. "Uh may I help you?" He asked.  
  
It was kind of dark so I couldn't make out who I was talking to. "Um yes, uh sorry. Um does a um..G-Gordo live here?" I asked, afraid of the answer.  
  
The man flinched a bit. "I'm sorry miss, but nobody by the name of that lives here"  
  
I dropped my head in amazment."O-oh well t-thank you a-anyways" I stuttered while walking away.

* * *

Ohhh  
  
At night I pray  
  
That soon your face  
  
Will fade away

* * *

I felt like dirt. What was I going to do now? Where was I going to go? I felt like crud. I was almost around the corner when I heard my name being called. I turned around and there was the man that had answered the door. I had stopped walking and landed under a light.  
  
"Lizzie please say it's you!" He pleaded.  
  
"Excuse me..what?" I asked.  
  
He stood there; taking in my looks, and overlooking my body. I was beginning to feel slightly uncomfertable so I shifted my weight from one shoot to the other.  
  
He looked back at my face. I noticed his eyes were blue. The same color as Gordo's.  
  
'Lizzie! There you go thinking of Gordo! Just forget him! You're never going to find him!' I inwardly thought.  
  
"Oh! Sorry, but um are you Lizzie?" The man repeated.  
  
I finally gave up. "Yes" I sighed.  
  
He smiled. "Good...and by the way, people call me David now"  
  
I looked up at him confused, and after I thought about it, it kicked in.  
  
".....Gordo?" I asked.  
  
He shot me a goofy smile. I gasped and threw my arms around his neck. He brought his hands around my tiny waist. We just stood there, holding onto eachother, and then finally pulled away.  
  
"I missed you so much Lizzie"  
  
I just stood there, staring at him. Taking in all his features. He was tall and much more masculine then the last time I saw him. His eyes sparkled and were so bright. His smile was still the same goofy Gordo smile he'd always give me.  
  
"I-I've missed you too Gordo.." I whispered.  
  
But he heard it because he started leaning in. He closed his eyes, so, so did I. Our lips met for a short kiss. I still had my eyes closed even after he pulled away. He chuckled and I opened my eyes. His face was still rather close to mine, so this time I leaned in and gave him the most passionate kiss my lips could ever give. He started kissing me back and deepened the kiss by sliding his tongue into my mouth. I brought my hands to his shoulders, and he pulled me closer to him, filling the space there was between us. Fireworks were blasting off in my head. I felt like I was in heaven, and that we were he only two up there. I forgot about all my problems. Just being in his arms and kissing him, hearing his voice made all my problems go away. After what may have seemed like forever, we pulled apart.

* * *

And everytime I try to fly  
  
I fall without my wings  
  
I feel so small  
  
I guess I need you baby  
  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
  
I see your face, it's haunting me  
  
I guess I need you baby

* * *

"Come on Liz, let's get you inside" he said while taking my hand.  
  
I pulled him back real quick and looked deep into his eyes. " I L-Love you Gordo"  
  
He looked at me. No smile, nothing, his face showed no reaction. Although he said these words very sencerily. "I've always loved you Lizzie.."  
  
And we pulled into another breath-taking, unforgettable, sweet lovers kiss.

* * *

Oh my gosh! There it is! I hope you guys all like it. I hope it's ok. I've never written a one shot before, or a song with words in it, so I hope my choice of song was alright, and that I put it in right. Please if you can drop me a review. I don't mind constructive critism either. For the story's sake, I'd really love to hear how I did. - Plz and Thx!  
  
LWG89 


	2. Familiar Faces

A/N-Ok, sense I've been recently encouraged, okay very encouraged to continue with this [[one shot]], after many, and many thoughts and desicions, I guess I will. And fYI: My story isn't really rated "R". I put it to be safe so F.F. wouldn't remove my story like they did last time! Glares at F.F. Anyways, thank's to all my reviewers. I'm still making the desicion of wether making this into a story or just ending the whole thing about chapter 5? I don't know what to do! If somebody could maybe make a suggesstion, I'd be rather pleased-Plz and Thanks!   
  
PurpleMonkeygirl: Thanks for being my first reviewer! And asking me to continue! =)  
  
Loopylou1: Yea I thought because of the word "Re" lol. I don't want to say that word now around F.F. And No problem about begging you to update..lol Thanks for reviewing!  
  
TrY mE: Thanks for asking me to write more! It shows you like me story! I'll try and keep up my good work so you'll stay interested.  
  
Disclaimer- Disney owns Lizzie McGuire and Company.

* * *

..::Every Time::..  
  
I opened my eyes as a yawn escaped from my mouth. I looked around and almost panicked because I didn't recognize where I was at first. I changed my postion and sat up on whoever's bed I was laying in. I looked around the room. It had a desk, computer, film certificates. Oh! This is Gordo's room! Oh yeah, now I remember where I am! I guess I fell asleep in his bed? No, why would I do that?   
  
I layed back down and let my head fall on his pillows. I pulled the covers back on my body and over my head. I didn't want to get up. I liked the smell of his covers and pillows. They carried the same scent he did. I loved his scent. It smelt so...fresh. I stretched out my body, feeling content. Now I remember what happened last night.  
  
After we had shared our last kiss, he led me inside, and we had choca. Then I changed out of my wet clothes and being the nice, sweet, gentleman he was, gave me some sweats and a big t-shit to sleep in. We didn't really talk much. We just sat there. It seems like a strange thing to do, I mean not even talk. All we did was cuddle in the living room. We didn't talk about the kisses we gave eachother or how we confessed our love either. I guess we both didn't know how to bring it up. I just cuddled in his lap with a blanket wrapped around me with my eyes shut. And he just held me.  
  
I didn't give him an explanation as to why I chose to show up at his house, and how I even knew where he was living. And he didn't ask for one neither. But I know he's dying to hear about it. And I'm kind of jumpy to know what he's thinking. And speaking of him, where is he anyways? I sat up again. I didn't want to get out of his bed, but I was curious to his where abouts. So I slipped my feat onto the carpet, and dragged my butt out of his bed.  
  
I saw the door that I thought would lead into the hallway and I was right. I shut the door and looked around. I didn't know my way around his house, so I didn't know what was on the other side of any of those doors. To be honest I felt kind of lost. I brought my hand up to my mouth and chewed my finger nails until they were soggy. Ugh nailpolish tastes nasty! Oh anyways. I was going to walk a different way until I heard Gordo's voice. I rushed downstairs, and found him in the kitchen talking on his cell phone. It sounded very 'Business like' so I quickly creeped out and into the living-room. He didn't notice because his back was to me.  
  
In the livingroom I found a couch that had a blanket and pillow thrown on. Oh so I guess he slept on the couch. I was just about to sit down, when I heard his voice from behind.  
  
"I thought I heard somebody in here!" His voice starteld me, because I wasn't expecting it.  
  
I had missed the couch and fell onto the floor. He started laughing, so I gave him a pout.  
  
He walked over to me "Aww I'm sorry Lizzie, it's just, I see you haven't changed. Still the same klutz I knew a long time ago." He paused while handing me his hand. "Here, I'll help you up"  
  
I smiled."Well you haven't changed either, still the same sweet guy you've always been". By this time he had done pulled me up and I was very close to him. I bit my lip, did I actually say that to him. I said it in a flirtish kind of way. He just looked at me, well my eyes,and then his finger traced my lip line.  
  
"Don't do that," He demanded in a childish way.  
  
I shot him a confused look and tilted my head. "Do what?" I asked.  
  
"Bite your lip!" He said, still tracing my lip line. Then he brought his face even closer to mine and whispered in my ear "You don't know how sexy you look when you do that". Then he brought his face back to where I could see it.  
  
I could feel the heat rising onto my face, especially my cheeks. He knew what to say, at all the right times.   
  
I still noticed I was biting my lip and chose to be a little, stubburn with his demand.  
  
I took ahold of both his hands with mine."And what if I don't stop it huh? Then what?" I asked seductively.  
  
He stood there thinking for a moment. I even stood there thinking. Why did I say that? I mean what's he going to do anyways. When I brought my eyes back up to meet his, he looked into my eyes and then started leaning in closer. I didn't know what to do. We hadn't talked about last night, so I didn't know what we were exactly. I grew even more nervous when he pulled me closer to him by gripping my waist. I didn't do anything with my arms, I just stood there, waiting for him to make his move. He closed his eys, and just as his lips were about to touch mine, a buzzard went off.  
  
He quickly pulled away, blushing madly. He stood their dumbfounded. "Uh-um-I-"  
  
I nodded my head. It was obvious both of us were embarrassed. I tried to say something, but nothing came out.  
  
"T-that was the um...the um..the oven! I'm going to, going to go get it" He shouted while running into the kitchen.  
  
I nodded my head and pointed my finger towards the kitchen. "Y-yeah! You do that!" I shouted. When he was out of sight, I giggled. He made no sense. I rubbed my forehead and licked my lips while walking back into the kitchen.  
  
I found him preparing food so I sat down at the table. As soon as he saw me he blushed again. "I'm s-sorry about eariler Liz, I didn't know what I was d-doing"  
  
"It's..it's ok Gordo, really. Don't worry about it" I said while watching him bring plates filled with food onto the table.  
  
I took a bite and smiled. "Didn't know you was such a good cook!"  
  
He looked at me. "What?" I said in my defense. "It's fabulous!"  
  
"Im glad you like my cooking McGuire..." He said while stuffing his face.  
  
"Lizzie?" He asked.  
  
I looked up from my plate. "Huh?"  
  
"I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but um why did you show up last night? Don't get me wrong or anything because, I was glad to see you, very, very, glad but..why?"  
  
I knew that question would be coming. I put down my fork. "I'll be happy to tell you, but I'll have to tell you later, when I'm ready. I'm sorry I'm just not ready yet"  
  
He reached over the table and took my hands. "Sure, I'll wait. But just remember, I'm always here and you can talk to me about anything."  
  
I smiled. He's just so nice. "Would you mind taking me apartment hunting today then?"  
  
He shot me a werid look. I know he's wondering about things. I want to tell him, but I just can't!  
  
"Why?" He asked. Ok I was going to have to lie to him.  
  
"Um, I have this friend I promised to find an apartment for, no biggie" I hope he bought that.  
  
I really, really hope he did.  
  
He shot me another weird look. "Ok sure. I have to go to the library anyways, so we'll stop there on the way"  
  
Phew, that was close. I know he didn't buy my lie, but I'm glad he didn't take it any further.

* * *

We were at the library, it was our first stop. Gordo was a film-producer and he needed information about a character. He was in the fiction section, and I was just looking at books. I wasn't really paying any attention, I was thinking about what I was going to do. I couldn't just stay at Gordo's. All my things were at my house. And I wasn't going back there. I didn't know how I was suppossed to even rent an apartment. I had money but, not BIG money. My husband had all that.   
  
I thought maybe I could get a job and start my life all over, here in Glendale. So I walked over to a book section and grabbed a book. I started reading it and discovered it was no use. I was going to put it back, but I missed the shelves as soon as I heard his voice. I must have looked like a deer caught in headlights.  
  
His voice sounded irritated, angry, mad. This made me even more nervous. His voice sounded very close so I looked up and saw him! I started shaking, and tried not to make a sound. His face was in a book called "Hunting" Uh oh, that didn't look good. He was in the row ahead of me, so I ducked. Kneeled on one of my knees and watched him,just read. His eyes showed anger.  
  
"Ready to go Liz? I got the book I needed!"  
  
I quickly looked at Gordo and saw that he was close enough to shut up. I quickly covered his mouth with my hand, while bringing a finger to my own lip showing him to ''Shh". I looked over at my husband and saw that he was looking around, obviously at the sound of my name. I took Gordo's hand and led him to another row, far away from the one before.  
  
"Lizzie-wha-"  
  
I covered his mouth again. "Just shh. Look we got to get out of here! Now right now! Please Gordo please!" I whispered.  
  
''Lizzie what's wrong?" he whispered.  
  
"Gordo please, I'll tell you later but lets just go now!" I whispered.  
  
He nodded and we rushed out of there. We hurried to his car, and took me straight to a park. We didn't get out though-we stayed in the car. Finally after several moments of silence, Gordo turned to me. He saw me shaking so he undid his sealtbelt, and undid mine and pulled me into his lap.  
  
"Lizzie, please tell me what's wrong, please, I'm sure I'll understand" He whispered in my ears.  
  
Tears made their way down my cheeks as I begin to speak.

* * *

Wow, well I guess this is my new story! Lol, yup another one. Well I had to stop this chapter right here, because I already thought it was long. Don't worry I'll write the other chapter and post it soon. Please tell me how I did. -Plz and thx  
  
-LWG89 


	3. Very important an!

Hey everybody! Um I know, I know,..'wen ya guna update!'..hehe.  
Yeah about that.  
.....I've been REALLY REALLY busy this summer, and won't be able to update til september..and even then I don't know if it'll be frequent because of high school.  
IM REALLY SORRY!!!  
  
Please forgive me!  
  
LWG89 


End file.
